Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Making Yourself a Priority

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option”
??? Mark Twain / Kelly Angard ???

What a great quote. Here's an interesting thing. I was meandering around on the web and came across it, and was interested in what might come up if I copy/pasted it into Google. The first link I clicked took me to this interesting blogger (funny how they just pop up all over the place) and also that this artist Kelly Angard has the quote copy-righted to her name. ? Apparently she has an original piece of artwork with that quote attributed to it. But here's what she says underneath the picture - photo & quote: ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ©2006 kelly angard 

But whatever. I went to Kelly's website and she really has some very interesting photos. I rather like her stuff. So I have no problem including her links on my blog. I wish I could post some of her pictures cuz they're beautiful. And I love her use of quotes. I'm a big quote fan. 

Anyways, back to the qutoe...
Sometimes I have to remind myself to do this; make myself a priority. It's not that I worry about what people think of me but that I don't want to disappoint those people close to me. I want to make the decisions they want me to make because it'll make them happy. I know it's silly. It doesn't make sense to a lot of people and I don't know why I'm like that. Must be that codependency coming out in me. Other people's happiness makes me happy. But I can't do that when I know what the right decision for me is. It's still hard.

I'm trying to work in it and not worry about disappointing people. The truth is, is that I know that my family and friends will not and are not disappointed by me in the least! But my brain is silly and doesn't always remember that. So it's all crazy; here I am with a wonderful supportive family and circle of wonderful friends who love me for me, and I'm trying to make them happy with my own decisions??? wtf right?! They're already happy with me so I don't need to do anything more. 

So I'll keep reminding myself of these things. Maybe I'll write out the quote and tape it to my monitor.

I Googled "how to make yourself a priority" and found some stuff on

Plan Plan Plan Your Day
must dos/should dos/like to dos
rank them by importance (As, Bs & Cs)
remember to schedule time for yourself throughout the day
Get Up Early
have some quiet time with a coffee/book... whatever
this will also help you feel more relaxed and prepared for the day's challenges
Begin Your Day!
cross out your list of to-dos throughout the day; it will make you feel accomplished
check with yourself throughout the day 
Keep it Up
you can do more when you take time for yourself
if you're feeling good you'll keep doing it

Friday, January 21, 2011

Wildlife Webcams

I'd like to share something fun with you. Wildlife Webcams. Last year I got to see a barn owl cam with brand new babies! It was pretty cool. It looks like there are several cool things this year as well.

Here are a few that look particularly good...
Hummingbird & Babies - (better viewed during the day) This is a really cool one.
Bald Eagle Nest - California (better viewed during the day)
Mating Pair of Barn Owls - also California (can be viewed at night)
3 Baby Squirrels SO CUTE! - again, California. geez! (can be viewed at night)
Bear Cam - Minnesota (can be viewed at night) I'm not sure how often the bears show up

African Watering Hole - not sure how many animals show up; I think it'd be cool.
Australia Wildlife cam - pretty birds are there pretty often it seems. (can be viewed at night b/c when it's night here it's day there)

Well that's just about it. I think they all have something neat to offer. Hopefully you show up just at the right time to see something cool. Luckily though some of them always have something going one. I love the baby squirrels and the hummingbird babies!

Posted below are a few of my screenshots. Isn't Phoebe the hummingbird just beautiful!?

Phoebe the hummingbird
Barn Owl

this one is from the Australian backyard wildlife cam

Momma feeding hungry babies! She does this a lot so you've got a good chance of catching it

here are the babies! can you see their tiny little beaks? don't they look like caterpillars?!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

two music videos I adore

"Music does bring people together.
It allows us to experience the same emotions.
People everywhere are the same in heart and spirit.
No matter what language we speak, what color we are,
the form of our politics or the expression of our love and our faith,
music proves: We are the same."
~ John Denver ~

Here are two music videos that I think are great. Completely different. The second one made me cry.


I love the message of this one. Who cares what everybody else thinks. Live you own life.
I really love Pink. Her music is always saying something. She doesn't care about what anybody thinks. She writes crazy songs, songs with a message, and some that are really gut wrenchingly personally.
I've always been a fan.
Here's a touching one she sang the Grammys - Glitter in the Air
I also love Fun House because the way she dances in the video is so fun! It makes me want to dance.


This one is sung by Sara Bareilles but there is no official music video out. This video was made by a filmmaker that I just stumbled accros on YouTube. love YouTube, don't you? I didn't even know it wasn't the official video, it's that good. The singer is, obviously, not her, but she does an excellent acting job. WELL DONE to the maker - Sean Willis.
It's a beautiful song and the video is an interesting interpretation of it. Like I said, made me cry.

I think Sara Bareilles is fascinating; a true artist. Writes her own songs and is more amazing in person than on her cds. I had the pleasure of seeing her live at Rams Head Live in Annapolis MD. She was wonderful. Her music is so catchy with messages and she isn't whiney about life. She just seems like a real upbeat kind of person. Love!
Here's some more videos/songs I like - Morningside
This one's powerful - City
And of course, I love her newest video/song - King of Anything. it's so spunky!
I go into it a little more - here - in response to my post about codependency.

"Music washes away from the soul
the dust of everyday life."
~ Berthold Auerbach (1812-1882) ~

 So thanks for allowing me go on this mini musical blog binge and tell you about some videos I love. I suppose I could be writing about "better" things but music is so important to me that I like to share things that inspire me with others. I hope you like them. 

I've been working a lot on my resume lately so I think I'm gonna post some about how to put your resume together. Of course I'm using some excellent books which, of course! I will share with YOU!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

let me hold your crown, babe

Ok so I just finished a post about codependant relationships and how I think they are not all created equal. I think this song goes to my interpretation of some of the kinds of things I've experienced.  I've posted the lyrics and italicized & colored the parts that make me think of codependence so you can see what I'm seeing. I think it's pretty interesting.

Keep drinking coffee, stare me down across the table
While I look outside
So many things I’d say if only I were able
But I just keep quiet and count the cars that pass by

You’ve got opinions, man
We’re all entitled to ‘em, but I never asked
So let me thank you for your time, and try not to waste anymore of mine
And get out of here fast

I hate to break it to you babe, but I’m not drowning
There’s no one here to save

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

You sound so innocent, all full of good intent
Swear you know best
But you expect me to jump up on board with you
And ride off into your delusional sunset

I’m not the one who’s lost with no direction
But you’ll never see
You’re so busy making maps with my name on them in all caps
You got the talking down, just not the listening

And who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

All my life I’ve tried to make everybody happy
While I just hurt and hide
Waiting for someone to tell me it’s my turn to decide

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

Let me hold your crown, babe.

I love that last line. Makes me smile :)

During my reading on codependence someone had Kelly Clarkson's Miss Independence video posted in relation to codependence. I can see it, although it's a little different; but it speaks to the loss of independence (even though this video doesn't mention it as a bad thing). Another interesting thought. What do you think?

Me and My Frenemy Codependence.

This is where I indulge myself and just spew everything I'm thinking about codependence all over my blog.

It's recently been brought to my attention that I have an issue with codependent relationships. haha. You're probably thinking, um Yeah!! 'bout time Ciara! ... I just recently saw quote this online somewhere...

Codependence is doing the unnecessary for the ungrateful.

"Codependence is like a leech. It starts slowly, stealing every other one of your weekends, and continues to suck you dry until every single day is consumed by your codependent relationship." That is so incredibly well said. It is so much like a leech. If you click on that link it'll take you to an interesting website that talks about codependent relationships and how to get your life back from them. 

Now, I've been doing a bit of reading but haven't found the right material. According to a lot of the stuff I've read...
1. Codependents typically grew up with someone with an addiction or have one themselves.
2. Are Perfectionistic and Distrustful.
3. Do not want to talk about feelings because it will cause the relationship not to go smoothly.
4. They see problems with everyone and feel they are the only one that can fix it...
5. Have difficulty making decisions and leave everything up to the other person.
6. Are controlling.

I mean WOW. That stuff is totally not me. I love discussing issues but what I've found is that other people don't want to. I do not feel like I'm the only one that can fix problems and I'm not distrustful or a perfectionist. Oh, and I SOOOOOO do NOT have difficulty making decisions. (ok sometimes with certain things) but what I found was that I was the person making ALL the decisions! not the other way around. And I am not controlling.

There are a lot of websites throwing around things like this about codependents and it's really confusing and misguiding. Maybe there are a lot of different degrees to codependents. And I also think that there are people who are attracted to that type of person and that makes the whole thing worse.

What I do know about myself and agree with...I...
1. Feel guilty when being assertive or don't assert myself when I have a need
2. Have had a physical illness related to stress
3. Consistently feel unfulfilled in relationships
4. Have care-taking behavior.... most definitely.
5. Will avoid doing things for me to make sure things go smoothly in the relationship.

You know, I think I just don't fit in any type of box. I don't feel like I'm this big codependent person. I enjoy taking care of other people, yes, and I think my problem is that I have had relationships where it's taken advantage of. I think if I were in a relationship with a person with healthy boundaries and such, these issues would be non-existent because I would feel fulfilled and comfortable. 

Maybe I  have a problem with codependent RELATIONSHIPS and it's not so much me being a neeeeedy whiney codependent PERSON.

Either way, I will continue to look into it in the hopes of bettering myself and building a happier future. You have to start somewhere and you have to accept some unpleasant things about yourself if you're going to move forward and make a change.

Eminem/Rihanna - Love the Way You Lie 

Matchbox Twenty - Push

Like I said, I'm just spewing for my own personal pleasure :) The above videos, I think, exemplify unhealthy codependent relationships.

spew over.


Sara Bareilles - Gravity

By the way, I gotta say how much I love Sara Bareilles. She is an amazing artist.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Sharing Music

"Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul"
I'd Rather Be With You

I heard this guy's music on Scrubs, a show that I actually really like. I remember when it first came out and I thought it was the dumbest show. Shows how your tastes can change huh?

I really love music, especially music that speaks. I like music for pure enjoyment as well but music that has a message really touches me. I just recently "discovered" Josh Radin for myself and I would like to share his music because I love it. It also seems as if he's good in person, which says a lot for a singer.

You've Got Growing Up to Do
Joshua Radin

Here's an interesting website - the blogcatalog - if you like music blogs & whatnot... it's a list of blogs dedicated to music.

Is there music that speaks to you?

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Noodly Soups

New Year Noodle Soup

I got this recipe from Heidi Swanson's blog 101 Cookbooks. I also just bought her book and it's a very beautiful book. I haven't tried anything yet and that's mostly because I'm not in charge of my own kitchen yet. But I did make this one because I wanted some soup that was a little spicy and robust. By the way, even with the serrano pepper and everything it is not that spicy. Once you end up boiling it for so long it cools down. So if you like really spicy stuff maybe add an extra half pepper or something. It's all up to you!

I'm not posing all the directions here, you can get that from her website. Her pictures are so much more beautiful anyways and it would be worth it for you just to look at them.

quick-soaking the beans 

Here are the ingredients. My changes and comments are in italics...

2 tablespoons olive oil
onion, thinly sliced (make sure you get another onion for the toppings! I forgot and only had one onion and used it all directly in the soup and was kindof bummed that I didn't have nice onion topping.)

1 long red chili OR
green serrano, finely chopped
1/2 teaspoon ground turmeric
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
8 1/2 cups / 2 liters good-tasting vegetable stock/broth (here again, I goofed. I didn't get enough stock, so I added some water and bouillon cubes. My Wal-Mart in hick-ville didn't have veggie stock on hand so I used chicken broth)
100g / 3.5 oz yellow split peas or brown lentils
1 1/2 cups cooked chickpeas, rinsed if using canned
2 cups / 350g cooked borlotti beans (I couldn't find the borlotti beans so I used black-eyed peas. By the way, if you don't soak your beans overnight you can quick soak them, the bag explains how. If you use garbanzos/chickpeas make sure you boil them a little longer)
fine grain sea salt
Here's the fresh ingredients from left... copped green onion, I just added that cuz I wanted to use them, Cilantro, Garlic which I also added on my own, serrano pepper, dill, sweet onion... I used a lemon for the picture just because I thought it needed a different color. What I actually put in the soup was lime and it was Oh So Tasty with the lime!

Thin egg noodles, fresh or dried (again, Wal-Mart did not have thin egg noodles so I got rice noodles. you can also use reg-lar, haha, pasta if you so desire)
3 1/2 oz / 100g fresh spinach leaves, finely shredded
1/2 cup finely shredded cilantro leaves
2 tablespoons chopped fresh dill
juice of one lime
I love it with the spinach! Don't forget how much spinach shrinks. I used a LOT.
The toppings I would say are optional. I didn't use any butter. I also didn't have sour cream so I used cottage cheese as a topping which turned out nicely.
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon unsalted butter
1 large onion, thinly sliced
100 ml sour cream or creme fraiche
50g / scant 2 ounces of toasted, chopped walnuts

Here is the onion before and after adding the turmeric and cumin... What Color!

Here again is the link for the full recipe - - - 101cookbooks - - - - She has some other very great looking stuff on her website. I am so jealous of her pictures and I want to eat them. I like her approach, healthy foods without all that added crap that you find in so many foods nowadays. People sometimes complain that you can't find all the ingredients to her recipes... to that I say, POO!!! cooking is meant to be an exploration. If you can't find something, substitute it. It won't kill you, or the dish. Play with your food. Don't be so scared to try something because you can't find EVERY single thing that's in the recipe.

I am looking forward to following her guidelines and cutting out a lot of the crap that's pretend food. I want to fuel my engine! :) I look forward to posting more of my exertions into this new dimension of eating. 

Monday, January 3, 2011

Self Titled.

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.  
~Author Unknown~

It's that time of year again; when we set ourselves up for failure for the rest of the year!

I'm just kidding. But really.

I've never been very big on new years resolutions. Mostly I guess because you can't fail at something that you don't resolve to do! :) But it's a new year and a new chapter in my life and I'm bound and determined to make this year better than the last one. I'm not gonna be hard on myself , I'm gonna do things I want to do!

Get fit. Get outdoors. Even though Montana's gonna be FREEZING I'm going to do outside stuff. Even if I have to join a gym I'm gonna get more active. I also plan on making my brother take me backpacking and camping; Yellowstone or Glacier and Baker Lake.

Plant things. I don't know if I can do this yet in the winter but I'm sure there are things I can plant inside. Besides, this is supposed to last all year right? Most especially, tomatoes and herbs. I looooove the smell of ripening tomatoes. Delish!

Can things. Make yogurt and my grandma's famous buttermilk syrup! yum! This includes trying new recipes, that won't be hard for me. I want to try more vegetarian dishes and incorporate and learn how to use different types of grains and whats not.

Make things. This includes practicing my calligraphy. I'm also going to work on my clay faces that my mother likes so much. I'm gonna finally do something with them.

Make money. A prerequisite to all. (this includes SAVING money) Love you Dave Ramsey!

Happy New Year y'all!

I liked this little quote...

The merry year is born

Like the bright berry from the naked thorn.
~Hartley Coleridge

Cleo and Pixie. Cleo is my shadow, Pixie is the little piggy that cried wee wee wee.

That's me. Wishing you a wonderful 2011 filled with happiness and health and a little good luck.

There are so many good quotes out there one New Years... I couldn't pick just one!

People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.  
~Author Unknown

He who breaks a resolution is a weakling;
He who makes one is a fool.
~F.M. Knowles

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man.
Benjamin Franklin

New Years Prayer

Dear Lord,
In the new year, we pray
that You will guide us each new day
in paths that are pleasing to You.
Lord, the new year gives us another chance
to rededicate our lives to You,
to study Your Word
so that we know right from wrong
and to act in accordance with Your commands.
Thank You for the sense of
direction, purpose and peace we get
from aligning our lives with Your Holy will.
We pray for the strength and the will to obey You
each and every day of the new year,
and when we fail, we pray for Your mercy,
Your compassion, Your grace and Your love.
Help us in the new year to be Your faithful servants.
In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.

By Joanna Fuchs