Friday, March 26, 2010

Happiness is a Frame of Mind...?

I'm not really a big fan of Dr. James Dobson, but I like talk radio and as I am driving home from work at night, I listen to the only chanel I can get that has talk; which is the Christian chanel.

[can I say how sad it is that I don't get more chanels in the Baltimore/DC area?]

I would also like to point out that I have nothing against "the Christian Chanel". For the most part I enjoy listening to the discussions. There are a few that rub me the wrong way - like when they talk about how being gay is wrong. I just don't listen to it because I am a big supporter of "the gays"... but that's another post entirely.

So, I was listening one night and Dr. Dobson and 'some other guy' where discussing an interview that had been previously recorded. The interview was with a man who had kept a diary of his journey when his wife became paralyzed through a car accident possibly... and he was left to take care of her for the rest of their lives.

*Kudos* to anyone who has to go through something like that.

He talked about how he chose to remain positive for his wife. This was when Dr. Dobson's friend said that "happiness is a frame of mind"; he said you can have two people in the exact same situation and one is absolutely miserable and grouchy to the world and the other is happy and smiling. ... Not a direct quote but close enough.

The part that got to me was when he said "two people in the exact same situation". I'm not opposed to the idea that you can choose to be happy, but two people's situations are never exactly the same. (I know, never say never)... but it is true that two people's situations will never equal each other. It is also true that no two people are the same. Maybe the other person has a different chemical balance in their brain, maybe they take medication for anxiety or depression. If that person loses a job they will probably react differenty than the person that does not have the same chemical imbalance.

Yes, I do understand the point of why he said what he said. But it got me thinking. People's journey's are different. I do not believe that you can judge another person's happiness. In fact I don't believe we should be judging anybody at all!

All that being said, I do believe that you can choose to be happy. I believe in choices.

Like today, after my taxes pissed me off and I dropped my phone down the rain drain in the parking lot and I got an email from my ex... I am NOT happy right now! BUT, I am choosing not to let my UNhappiness get in the way of my life. I am not going to let my mood affect how I treat other people and how I do my job.

I think that was his point.

My mom has drilled this concept into my since I was 12. She used to tell me (and still does to this day) "you don't have to decide anything right now".

So I take a deep breath and look at the bigger picture. All in all my life does not suck because I lost my phone and my taxes are pissing me off. I have a job and phones can be purchased. I don't know what to tell you about the taxes, but who does, really?

Granted, my problems are not as big as the guy who has to care for his paralyzed wife. But you can be happy if you choose. If I need to, I take a moment to call my mom and whine. And she listens. And I have my little pitty party.

I think that when you start to ACT happy, you realize that you just might BE happy.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

TP as an olive branch. or How to Live with Roommates

What is that saying? Something about an olive branch? Or maybe it's not so much a saying as it is a well known symbolism. The olive branch as a peace offering, or maybe a white flag.

I read somewhere that you can learn something from everyone. I have also heard that moving in with your friends can be a very bad idea. I have been living with my current roommates for about 6 months now. They teach me things all the time. Things like how to change a door lock and how to move your living room into your bedroom. I've also learned how to rewire my tv and how to remove gum from my kitchen table.

Really? Gum on the kitchen table? That one really got me. We ended up having a very polite "conversation" and since then the lessons seem to have ceased. . . for the time being. Keep in mind that I use the term 'polite' very loosley.

About the toilet paper. I had 'learned' that in order to not be the constant supplier of TP for the whole house, I needed to keep my supply in my bedroom, with my new door lock. Well, this resulted in everybody keeping their own individual rolls & only taking them to the bathroom when nature called.

[the silliness of this makes me giggle a little even now]

Well, I found my olive branch the other day. A shiny new roll of TP nicely presented on the roller. It brings a tear to my eye!

Okay but seriously... What do you do when you're in a desperate situation and you are forced to live with people that prove to be the opposite of supportive friends. I'm in a lease for goodness sakes. I joke about my "learning experiences", but really I have learned. I am better at standing up for myself. I am not a confrontational person; I'm pretty much an introvert. I prefer to ignore negative comments, turn the other cheek, kill with kindness... Before moving in with these people I probably would not say anything about the dirty sink and the overwhelming trash...the unvacuumed living room, But I know what I deserve and I have found my voice.

Some people cannot be killed with kindness. Some people just really have to be slapped around a little and shown that you won't roll over. I'm a little sad that it had to get ugly. I think my mother would prefer to hear that I triumphed with my soft voice and that they eventually got bored of giving me hell. But the truth is that sometimes you have to fight fire with fire. I feel better about myself knowing that if need be I can get scrappy!

Have you ever been in a situation like that? Did you ever have to get down and fight a little dirty?

Monday, March 8, 2010

March Goal Meet-Up

So... there's a group at Brazen where you list your goals for the month; to keep you focused and to share with others. This will be my first goal meet-up. I am going to start small for the main purpose that I am so freakishly busy as it is that I couldn't possibly fit in anymore big goals.

March holds my mother and brother's birthdays so I am planning on sending birthday cards/letters. There, goal #1.

I am also big on recycling, but my apartment complex does not recycle. So I want to get some big garbage cans to put my plastics in. There, goal #2.

Fairly simple goals. But I can't start too big because I don't dare overwhelm myself. I work almost every day out of the week. Some weeks I only work 6 days a week. It's too much, but it's only temporary and right now I can't afford to drop a job.

Goal #3 is one that I am thinking about working on but it might be one that flows over into April... I have an IRA account with Sharebuilder and I need to call my local Dave Ramsey endorsed investment provider and ask him some questions about my account. I know it's a him because I talked on the phone with him one time to tell him that I would call him back later. haha. talk about procrastination.

If you have questions about insurance, investment, taxes... check out the providers that Ramsey recommends because I've talked to a few and they are really in it to help you, the normal person, understand these complicated topics... Which brings me to goal #4... I gotta do my taxes. Hooray!

So there you go. My monthly goals:
1. Send birthday cards
2. Get recycle bins
3. Call my IRA provider
4. File taxes!

When April Fools rolls around we will see how I did on my goals and see if I procrastinated so much that April has the same goals :)

Here's to following up!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

along came blogging

Welcome. How do you start a blog? I have this one right here, but it just exists for my own amusement. That and to keep my family up on what's going on in my life. I'm not sure that's such a good idea but oh well.

What exactly do you put in a first post? Does it even matter? Is anyone even gonna read my first post?

I struggled with what to name my blog. For right now I'm sticking with self titled mostly because I can't think of anything else. I also had to figure out the http address. I went for rummaged and ransacked because I like those words and they seem to fit my life right now.

Rummage: a jumble of things to be given away. search haphazardly. a thorough search for something (often causing disorder or confusion).

Ransack: plunder; steal goods, take as spoils. to comb. to make a vigorous and thorough search or examination of a location or thing, usually leaving behind a state of disarray. looted. to rummage and steal.

Ha! You could say that about describes my situation in life. The search for my self identity, so to speak, is definately causing disorder or confusion leaving behind a state of disarray.

I'm a writer. Not in the professional sense, but in the sense that in my life I have always written. I write letters, diaries, blogs, notes... If you asked my family what I like to do they'd probably say reading and writing. As a kid I always had a notebook and a book. I had a great immagination. It's a shame that I can't really do anything with my love of writing. Oh wait! ... along came blogging.

I used to think blogging was stupid. I thought it was just an online diary. I would see blogs here and there and I would think "this is so boring, why would anyone want to read this". But then I realized that people do blog for good reasons and people do read each other's blogs. And then my mom directed me to Brazen Careerist and I realized what blogging is really about, or at least what it can be. A search. Perhaps a thorough search for something?

I don't know where this is going; where this 'blogging for real' will take me. But it can't hurt to build a network, or at least attempt to. It can't hurt to practice my writing skills and try to figure out my life with the whole world watching (I should be so lucky). My goal is to be honest and write with purpose. Penelope says to offer the reader something they are looking for. I don't know that this first post will neccesarily do any of that. I didn't plan this out, I just wrote it because I needed a first post.

So, welcome to my first post. Let's see where I go from here.