Friday, September 30, 2011

Nothing Is Ever Wasted

...except me.... right now....

Every once in awhile something happens in your life that makes a big impact.
I'm going to tell you a little story. I know that this has happened to others but it's never happened to someone I knew or to myself. When I really stop to think about it it's not so bad and it's just a part of this era. But it felt like crap.

This is a story about my adventures in dating.

As embarrassing as it is to admit, and as much as I don't want to say it 'out loud', I fear I must. If I say it then I don't ever have to worry about it being embarrassing again. Besides, it made a big impact on me and it's something that I feel I need to write about and share with "the masses"... all 5 of you. ... I've been dating online. Yes. There, I said it! It's out and I can never take it back. Oh well. Life goes on. Now I can add "dating" to my labels. What fun. Now you can make as much fun of me as you like.

No you cannot read my profile.

I've been warned against this by many people. "Why online? Why can't you just meet people?" ... Well first of all, have you met me? I'm apparently not that approachable. Why is that? And secondly... I live in Hamilton for goodness sakes. I've met one decent single guy. And he's 50. The rest of them are either in high school or they're already in a relationship or just plain not interested in fabulous me. But enough whining.

Online dating is not that abnormal these days. Although I don't know if the people doing it can be considered normal. I know I can't. But I digress.... again... I know a wonderful couple that met online and they are married and perfect for each other. It's happened to other people too. So far that has not been my experience.

Onto my story. I started talking to this guy from Virginia who was moving to Montana. He told me one day, I'm on my way. He didn't have any specific plan other than he had a business idea that he wanted to pursue. I had the most interesting and fabulous conversations of my life with him. I was intrigued. He came to Hamilton and decided to rent a room month-to-month from a woman's home. So we went out, we talked, etc. etc. I was keeping my guard up but slowly letting it down day by day. I finally admitted to myself that I did in-fact like him quite a bit. So we had this conversation.. he had left Virginia with a few legal issues pending regarding his kids. He decided that if he were to have any sort of future with me he needed to handle his legal issues. I was okay with this. Bummed that he had to go back for an undetermined length of time, but excited that I'd met someone that I had such good conversation with.

A few days after he left I got an email from a woman who claimed to be his landlord's friend. She tells me he's not who he says he is and that I should stay away. So of course I call him and say wtf yo! What gives!? I will spare you the long drawn out conversation that followed but basically he was still technically married; awaiting divorce and child custody all to be done at the same time... but had been separated for over a year. But, is also ENGAGED and get this... she's pregnant. Yep. And living with him. What? So I asked him how is he talking with me this whole time when she's living with him and he tells me that she's downstairs and would I like to talk to her? Because at this point he's still telling me that he wants to be with me after he gets this whole thing sorted out with her. He had told her about me.

Yes. That is correct.

So I tell him "yes! get her up here and let's have it out!" So he went and got her and we had a little chat. Man, talk about an interesting conversation. Basically this guy had been lying to everyone and wanted to leave this girl and his unborn child to be with me. As if after all this I would want to be with him. She said "my concern is this, are you guys going to continue talking while we're trying to sort this out?" He replied that he wanted to and I said "well I think that would be a little weird" and she said "Thank You!!!" Rightly so. Weird weird weird. I was not irate or rude but mostly in shock that the whole conversation was taking place and he was telling this girl that he wanted to be with me right in front of her. She seemed like a very nice woman and was very kind to me. I feel bad for her.

A few days later I got an email from him letting me know that he'd decided to do the right thing by her and stay with her and that we would no longer be communicating. Go figure. I hope that everything works out for them.

And that is my story.

At this point I'm over it but at the time it really hurt. I learned a lot, and as my mother says "nothing is ever wasted". So while I could have done without this whole experience, it was nice to meet someone that gave me hope that there are eloquent people out there. Sure he turned out to be a sore loser, but that is beside the point. I continue to learn things about life, love and dating. And also about myself.

I apologize if this thing was long-winded and confusing. I sortof used it as a journal type entry to share with the world and I hope it was at least entertaining for you!

Best of luck to us all!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Reclaiming the Slut?

I caught a glimpse of The Doctors the other day and they were arguing about the Slut Walks that have been going on. These walks stem from a comment made by a police officer who said women should stop dressing like sluts if they don't want to be raped. I'm paraphrasing here. That statement very seriously upsets me. This statement comes from a police officer who has clearly not been educated on the topic of rape. The fact that he has not been educated upsets me and the many reactions that this comment stirs up make my blood boil. People on both sides of the fence are ignoring the real problem here.

This statement is taken from msnbc's article on the subject"It was taking the blame off the rapist and on the victim," said Nicole Sullivan, 21, a student at the University of Massachusetts-Boston and an organizer of the SlutWalk planned Saturday in that city. "So we are using these efforts to reclaim the word 'slut.'"  Ok I understand that women should be able to dress the way that they want without fear of being raped. But this is completely missing the point.

I will explain way.

Rape is not about sex. When a person rapes, its to exert control, to dominate the victim. You can find this fact in many different places if you just look it up. That is why men are raped by heterosexual men. It is not about sex. So the way a woman is dressed does not say to a man, "hey, look at that woman showing cleavage. I think I'll rape her because I'm so sexually aroused right now". Sure, there are guys who carry around roofies and slip them into a girl's drink in order to rape her. But that happens to a lot of women who are not dressed provocatively. And still, even in that case, it's about power.

Certain people get the idea that the woman should take responsibility for being raped.

In the Rape in America study, 80% of the girls and women who were raped were victimized by someone they knew.
Rape in America: A Report to the Nation, National Victim Center, 1992

And then you have these women coming out in rage at these discussions about victims being to blame, and they say that they want to reclaim the word Slut. And I am baffled.

slut  (slt)
a. A person, especially a woman, considered sexually promiscuous.
b. A woman prostitute.
2. A slovenly woman; a slattern.

Why on earth would you want to want to be associated with this word. Sure, no one deserves to be raped. Not even a slut. But no way am I going to walk around in my underwear with a sign saying "it's my hot body I do what I want". You're not doing yourself any favors ladies.


Okay that's my rant. I get frustrated when people can't come together on common ground for a common goal. This whole thing does nothing for victims of rape.

Most commonly, rape is a crime of opportunity; the victim is chosen not because of her looks or behavior, but because she is there.
Helen Benedict, Virgin or Vamp, 1992

Friday, September 16, 2011

giant tetris

Sometimes you come across things that make your mind spin. At least I do. Sometimes people do things that amaze me. Great works of art for instance. The pyramids... And then some people build castles by themselves in the dead of night and then move them to a different location after they've completed it....

This is a picture of Coral Castle after it was moved. Remember, all of this was in a different location before and moved here.
 I was recently introduced to Ed Leedskalnin. He's an interesting fellow who built a castle/rock garden in Florida all by himself, cutting coral bedrock and 'lifting' it into position. No one really knows how he did it because he worked in secret and did not allow others to watch him work. He built his castle for his sweetheart who jilted him at the alter; Agnes, his "Sweet16". According to this website, Billy Idol wrote his song Sweet 16 about this guy. Ok so maybe he was a little off... but he built a castle.

Below are a few videos on Youtube. They're a little old, so don't mind the music... and the acting.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Here's another video about old Ed.  There was one that lightly suggested aliens. I opted out of sharing that one here. ... Ed stated that he knew the secrets of the Pyramids, and if you look at some of the structures there are some that point to the pyramids as well as Stonehenge; one that is taller than the stonehenge rocks.

It's amazing that this is the first I'm hearing of this guy. Yep, that's him right there in the black suit. He's not much taller than myself, 5 feet. ... I wish I knew more about this amazing little guy. I suggest that you watch the videos and see for yourself how fascinating his story really is. It's amazing what can be done when you put your mind to something... This is an interesting website and has some pictures of some of his devices and such. He mentioned several times that people just don't understand how magnetic currents work...
As old Ed said... "it's not difficult really, the secret is in knowing how"

Here are some interesting facts about old Ed...
  • He had a 4th grade education.
  • He was a Mason
  • He moved to Florida from Latvia
  • The government refused to let him patent his perpetual motion magnet machine and it was shortly after that that he was beaten.
  • The government kept asking him to send his machine to them. His patent plans have never been found.
  • He had iron soles in his shoes
  • The author of the book states that he has never been interviewed by a Florida radio station... this is a local wonder that holds many secrets and he's never been interviewed by a local radio station?
  • After Ed took himself to the hospital he died there of malnurishment. During the 3 days he was in the hospital his place was looted and parts of his machine were taken. He didn't have anything else to steal. He led a simple life.



If you're really interested check out this video.
click here... it's an interview with the guy who wrote "waiting for Agnes". He's done a lot of research on this guy and his castle. here and there Now, I'm sorry that I do not agree with the aliens aspect that is suggested... but it mentions the pyramids and their natural mumification qualities and other aspects which I found quite fascinating. it's an 11-parter; you can find the rest on youtube. It has a LOT more information and is quite detailed. If this interests you then definitely check out these videos.