Friday, March 26, 2010

Happiness is a Frame of Mind...?

I'm not really a big fan of Dr. James Dobson, but I like talk radio and as I am driving home from work at night, I listen to the only chanel I can get that has talk; which is the Christian chanel.

[can I say how sad it is that I don't get more chanels in the Baltimore/DC area?]

I would also like to point out that I have nothing against "the Christian Chanel". For the most part I enjoy listening to the discussions. There are a few that rub me the wrong way - like when they talk about how being gay is wrong. I just don't listen to it because I am a big supporter of "the gays"... but that's another post entirely.

So, I was listening one night and Dr. Dobson and 'some other guy' where discussing an interview that had been previously recorded. The interview was with a man who had kept a diary of his journey when his wife became paralyzed through a car accident possibly... and he was left to take care of her for the rest of their lives.

*Kudos* to anyone who has to go through something like that.

He talked about how he chose to remain positive for his wife. This was when Dr. Dobson's friend said that "happiness is a frame of mind"; he said you can have two people in the exact same situation and one is absolutely miserable and grouchy to the world and the other is happy and smiling. ... Not a direct quote but close enough.

The part that got to me was when he said "two people in the exact same situation". I'm not opposed to the idea that you can choose to be happy, but two people's situations are never exactly the same. (I know, never say never)... but it is true that two people's situations will never equal each other. It is also true that no two people are the same. Maybe the other person has a different chemical balance in their brain, maybe they take medication for anxiety or depression. If that person loses a job they will probably react differenty than the person that does not have the same chemical imbalance.

Yes, I do understand the point of why he said what he said. But it got me thinking. People's journey's are different. I do not believe that you can judge another person's happiness. In fact I don't believe we should be judging anybody at all!

All that being said, I do believe that you can choose to be happy. I believe in choices.

Like today, after my taxes pissed me off and I dropped my phone down the rain drain in the parking lot and I got an email from my ex... I am NOT happy right now! BUT, I am choosing not to let my UNhappiness get in the way of my life. I am not going to let my mood affect how I treat other people and how I do my job.

I think that was his point.

My mom has drilled this concept into my since I was 12. She used to tell me (and still does to this day) "you don't have to decide anything right now".

So I take a deep breath and look at the bigger picture. All in all my life does not suck because I lost my phone and my taxes are pissing me off. I have a job and phones can be purchased. I don't know what to tell you about the taxes, but who does, really?

Granted, my problems are not as big as the guy who has to care for his paralyzed wife. But you can be happy if you choose. If I need to, I take a moment to call my mom and whine. And she listens. And I have my little pitty party.

I think that when you start to ACT happy, you realize that you just might BE happy.

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Please feel free to comment. I do review my comments to deter slander. Thank you for your consideration and again, thanks for reading. Have a lovely day! - Ciara