Friday, September 30, 2011

Nothing Is Ever Wasted

...except me.... right now....

Every once in awhile something happens in your life that makes a big impact.
I'm going to tell you a little story. I know that this has happened to others but it's never happened to someone I knew or to myself. When I really stop to think about it it's not so bad and it's just a part of this era. But it felt like crap.

This is a story about my adventures in dating.

As embarrassing as it is to admit, and as much as I don't want to say it 'out loud', I fear I must. If I say it then I don't ever have to worry about it being embarrassing again. Besides, it made a big impact on me and it's something that I feel I need to write about and share with "the masses"... all 5 of you. ... I've been dating online. Yes. There, I said it! It's out and I can never take it back. Oh well. Life goes on. Now I can add "dating" to my labels. What fun. Now you can make as much fun of me as you like.

No you cannot read my profile.

I've been warned against this by many people. "Why online? Why can't you just meet people?" ... Well first of all, have you met me? I'm apparently not that approachable. Why is that? And secondly... I live in Hamilton for goodness sakes. I've met one decent single guy. And he's 50. The rest of them are either in high school or they're already in a relationship or just plain not interested in fabulous me. But enough whining.

Online dating is not that abnormal these days. Although I don't know if the people doing it can be considered normal. I know I can't. But I digress.... again... I know a wonderful couple that met online and they are married and perfect for each other. It's happened to other people too. So far that has not been my experience.

Onto my story. I started talking to this guy from Virginia who was moving to Montana. He told me one day, I'm on my way. He didn't have any specific plan other than he had a business idea that he wanted to pursue. I had the most interesting and fabulous conversations of my life with him. I was intrigued. He came to Hamilton and decided to rent a room month-to-month from a woman's home. So we went out, we talked, etc. etc. I was keeping my guard up but slowly letting it down day by day. I finally admitted to myself that I did in-fact like him quite a bit. So we had this conversation.. he had left Virginia with a few legal issues pending regarding his kids. He decided that if he were to have any sort of future with me he needed to handle his legal issues. I was okay with this. Bummed that he had to go back for an undetermined length of time, but excited that I'd met someone that I had such good conversation with.

A few days after he left I got an email from a woman who claimed to be his landlord's friend. She tells me he's not who he says he is and that I should stay away. So of course I call him and say wtf yo! What gives!? I will spare you the long drawn out conversation that followed but basically he was still technically married; awaiting divorce and child custody all to be done at the same time... but had been separated for over a year. But, is also ENGAGED and get this... she's pregnant. Yep. And living with him. What? So I asked him how is he talking with me this whole time when she's living with him and he tells me that she's downstairs and would I like to talk to her? Because at this point he's still telling me that he wants to be with me after he gets this whole thing sorted out with her. He had told her about me.

Yes. That is correct.

So I tell him "yes! get her up here and let's have it out!" So he went and got her and we had a little chat. Man, talk about an interesting conversation. Basically this guy had been lying to everyone and wanted to leave this girl and his unborn child to be with me. As if after all this I would want to be with him. She said "my concern is this, are you guys going to continue talking while we're trying to sort this out?" He replied that he wanted to and I said "well I think that would be a little weird" and she said "Thank You!!!" Rightly so. Weird weird weird. I was not irate or rude but mostly in shock that the whole conversation was taking place and he was telling this girl that he wanted to be with me right in front of her. She seemed like a very nice woman and was very kind to me. I feel bad for her.

A few days later I got an email from him letting me know that he'd decided to do the right thing by her and stay with her and that we would no longer be communicating. Go figure. I hope that everything works out for them.

And that is my story.

At this point I'm over it but at the time it really hurt. I learned a lot, and as my mother says "nothing is ever wasted". So while I could have done without this whole experience, it was nice to meet someone that gave me hope that there are eloquent people out there. Sure he turned out to be a sore loser, but that is beside the point. I continue to learn things about life, love and dating. And also about myself.

I apologize if this thing was long-winded and confusing. I sortof used it as a journal type entry to share with the world and I hope it was at least entertaining for you!

Best of luck to us all!


  1. nope. although that one seems to have even less honorable people.


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