Reclaiming the Slut?

I caught a glimpse of The Doctors the other day and they were arguing about the Slut Walks that have been going on. These walks stem from a comment made by a police officer who said women should stop dressing like sluts if they don't want to be raped. I'm paraphrasing here. That statement very seriously upsets me. This statement comes from a police officer who has clearly not been educated on the topic of rape. The fact that he has not been educated upsets me and the many reactions that this comment stirs up make my blood boil. People on both sides of the fence are ignoring the real problem here.

This statement is taken from msnbc's article on the subject - "It was taking the blame off the rapist and on the victim," said Nicole Sullivan, 21, a student at the University of Massachusetts-Boston and an organizer of the SlutWalk planned Saturday in that city. "So we are using these efforts to reclaim the word 'slut.'"  Ok I understand that women should be able to dress the way that they want without fear of being raped. But this is completely missing the point.

I will explain way.

Rape is not about sex. When a person rapes, its to exert control, to dominate the victim. You can find this fact in many different places if you just look it up. That is why men are raped by heterosexual men. It is not about sex. So the way a woman is dressed does not say to a man, "hey, look at that woman showing cleavage. I think I'll rape her because I'm so sexually aroused right now". Sure, there are guys who carry around roofies and slip them into a girl's drink in order to rape her. But that happens to a lot of women who are not dressed provocatively. And still, even in that case, it's about power.

Certain people get the idea that the woman should take responsibility for being raped.

In the Rape in America study, 80% of the girls and women who were raped were victimized by someone they knew.

Rape in America: A Report to the Nation, National Victim Center, 1992

And then you have these women coming out in rage at these discussions about victims being to blame, and they say that they want to reclaim the word Slut. And I am baffled.

slut  (slt)

n.

1.

a. A person, especially a woman, considered sexually promiscuous.

b. A woman prostitute.

2. A slovenly woman; a slattern.

Why on earth would you want to want to be associated with this word. Sure, no one deserves to be raped. Not even a slut. But no way am I going to walk around in my underwear with a sign saying "it's my hot body I do what I want". You're not doing yourself any favors ladies.

*sigh*

Okay that's my rant. I get frustrated when people can't come together on common ground for a common goal. This whole thing does nothing for victims of rape.

Most commonly, rape is a crime of opportunity; the victim is chosen not because of her looks or behavior, but because she is there.

Helen Benedict, Virgin or Vamp, 1992

Click here for a helpful website for victims of rape.

garbledeegoop

That's a word that my mother used to use and probably still does on occasion :) I couldn't think of a specific topic to write about today so I'm just gonna free-write and just go with it and see what comes out. I have a lot of things on my brain; a lot of garbledeegoop!

I guess I'll start with an update on what's going on with me lately. Grandpa is in the living room, "watching" the news. For those of you who don't know, that means napping. He's got a busy summer. He went to the lake already, came home and did yard work, then he's going for a week long backpacking trip (yes he's 80).. after that he is going to rest a week (ie: do more yardwork) and then bike to Bozeman to help seniors in high school learn about the wild wilderness.. He's a busy man. Notice how I said let me tell you what's going on in my life and I tell you about my grandpa. Of course. But he's an inspiration to a lot of people and to me. Therefor it must be mentioned.

I'm posting some pictures below of my latest hiking adventure. It was exhilarating to be out in nature like that all by myself. I'm trying to pick my next hike. I would love to go bike the Hiawatha Bike Trail soon. I've been trying to go for a long time but it hasn't worked out yet. It's kindof a far drive & I think it would be more fun to go with someone for that particular adventure. I've had a bit of a hard time finding adventure partners and that's been a little bit frustrating. But I'm a big girl and I can do things on my own. It's good to be alone but I'm also pretty social and being female I feel successful and happy when I have good relationships. When my relationships aren't very strong I feel 'down'. So that's something I've been dealing with also; it seems that everyone is too busy with their schedules and doing things with their significant others. I pray about it and God has truly been helping me with that.

My job situation has improved. I'm still working weekend afternoons at a mental health group home and I am really liking it. I've also recently been hired at a Youth Home for kids in transition. I'm only relief staff right now but there are a few openings and I'm hoping to get one of them. I'm very excited because I really like working there so far. They have a wonderful philosophy and I've been trying to get work in the youth field for a long time now. I have a big heart for kids in trouble. Youth are amazing and people don't see it sometimes. I believe all the problems of the world can be fixed with proper parenting, but it has to start at the beginning. It's so sad that our kids get treated worse than our pets.

I'm starting to think that maybe this really is the field I want to be in and that's really exciting because lately I've been wondering if I'm even going in the right direction.

peekaboo!!!

I did my first hike of the season; my first hike in a long long time, all by myself!!!
Glenn Lake behind me, still covered in snow and ice! well not ALL of it.

See the whole lake wasn't frozen. I met a nice older couple up there.
They were setting up camp. 

Story of a Child Soldier

DID YOU KNOW THAT: over 30 wars and conflicts rage around the world.Many of these wars go unreported, often due to political expediency or lack of interest. -WarChildInternational-

 

A Long Way Gone. Memoirs of a Boy Soldier. by Ishmael Beah.

I  just finished this book and it was incredible. It's about the civil war in Sierra Leon and Ishmael and other children and families' fights to survive. Young boys were turned into soldiers in order to defeat the rebels and many many lives were ruined. It's a tragic story. As far as my opinion of the book... it has a lot of difficult things to read but was written incredibly well. I know that I personally enjoy reading about controversial topics and also enjoy true crime books, so I have a little higher tolerance for that sort of thing. But the way that Beah wrote the book was in such a way that the painful things did not completely overwhelm you. They are facts, as I'm sure they were to him at the time. Get through the day. That's it. Cut & Dried.

Here is Ishmael reading an exert from his book

I'd like to make a comment the part that music played in his life. I've always thought that music can heal and in this case it not only helps him do that but saves his life in certain instances. Growing up he listened to American rap music with his friends and they would learn the lyrics and dance and sing for crowds... not too different from what my friends and I used to do back in the day... after the war started and they were forced to run from village to village people didn't trust them because so many young boys were being recruited into the war; both on the rebel side and the soldier side. They were taken into villages and threatened and given tests to prove they weren't soldiers. Many times his rap cassette saved their lives. And after he was taken to the rehabilitation camp listening to music again brought him back to reality and sanity. Props to rap music! I never would've thought!!! -----------sidenote----------- in the last youtube clip I've included here he mentions hip hop; he says that he enjoyed the early hip hop because of the words that were used in the lyrics, like soliloquy... which he says are not used in rap music today. Interesting. ----------------------------------

When I read a true story I like to do more research after I've finished it. I've read enough memoirs and non-fiction that I can say I believe that truth is stranger than fiction. It really is. You can't write some of the things that come up in non-fiction books. It's incredible. I have such respect for this incredible person. And he is so well spoken. I've included several links throughout this post - UNICEF was the organization that stepped in to help rehabilitate these children. I've also found WarChild which is another organization that does the same things. TheChildrenOfWar is another one.

Here's another interesting clip from youtube... it's a clip of Ishmael on some tv show talking about the book. It's a great clip, especially if you'd like to hear about the story before reading the book, or just hear about stuff from the author himself. check it out.......

And another... where he speaks at a school. Very interesting. This one is a lot longer than the previous one. His English is so good! .....cute guy too :) Too bad his facebook says he's "in a relationship". darn that facebook! haha Oh well. ;)

Ishmael's attitude is so inspiring. For a child to go from incredible daily violence to the well spoken and positive man he is today is incredible. He mentions how the human spirit is resilient. How true. Especially a child's. It never ceases to amaze me the things that people get through and can turn around and use for good. "it's a long term goal, it is difficult, but it's possible". These kinds of stories remind me that life is ultimately beautiful and we should respect it.

Oh, I also have to mention... when he finally comes to New York for a child of war conference they didn't tell him that he needed a COAT in DECEMBER in NEW YORK!!! What!? hahaahahaha. How could they do that to this poor guy from Africa!? He had no idea! He says it was snowing and the only relationship he had with snow was Christmas movies and he said he thought "it must be Christmas every day!" I love the way he describes his experience of New York in the book. It's so funny! He says it's the most uncomfortable country in the world! Freezing cold outside and HOT inside! (cuz they didn't show him how to turn down the thermostat!). The things we take for granted... interesting stuff man.

http://www.unicef.org/